On this day, one year ago, my husband and I were sitting at the hospital waiting for me to be taken back for my prophylactic double mastectomy. Because I'm BRCA2 positive, my percentage for getting breast cancer was an alarming 87% along with a 55% chance of ovarian cancer. It wasn't a matter of 'If' I would get it, but 'When' so we chose to be proactive. Last April, I had a full hysterectomy, in July a double mastectomy with breast expanders for the reconstruction process that took three months, and in November was my final surgery to trade the expanders for implants. What a year it was! You can read more about my journey that started in Jan 2014, by clicking Here and scrolling to the first post at the bottom.
I love watching HGTV's House Hunters. Occasionally, they do a "Where Are They Now" episode where they revisit families to see the changes they made to improve their houses. So, here's my own little "Where Are They Now" update. And no, I'm not referring to my boobs. They're gone for good!
Physically:
- I feel really healthy! I followed my own Clean Eating advice and I believe that making good food choices last year helped keep me from gaining extra weight during all of those months that I couldn't exercise. It also helped me to heal quicker and to feel better emotionally, as well as physically.
- I've been playing soccer and attending boot camp weekly for about 6 months. I know that I have a way to go to be physically where I once was, but I also feel light years ahead of where I thought I would be at this point. I've heard it takes about one year from the final surgery (mine was in November) to feel "normal" again. Good thing, because I'll be running my second half marathon (unless I get crazy and up it to a full marathon) in November so I'll need all the normal that I can get!
- I still "feel" my implants daily. Well, I can't physically feel them because most of my breasts are still numb, but I can feel the weight of them. If that makes sense. Let's just say, I know that they're there and I think about them everyday. I'm ready to not think about them daily, but I don't know if that will ever change.
- I'm happy with how the twins turned out! Originally, I was terrified of coming out looking like Dolly Parton. No offense to her, but that's not my style. I must have told my doctor a million times that I wanted to look "normal" and a million times he assured me that there's no such thing as "normal." Ha! He did a great job though because I feel like, and my friends agree, that if you didn't know my journey then you wouldn't know that anything changed. Meaning, they fit my frame and I look "normal." Mission accomplished!
- Apparently I did the reverse menopause, if there is such a thing, because instead of getting hot flashes after my hysterectomy, I get freezing flashes. When I get too cold, my hands and feet turn ice cold, and my jaw and chest shiver. It's the weirdest thing especially coming from someone who was always hot before, but now I'm reaching for blankets and sweaters in the Summertime if I'm in an air conditioned building. Odd, but I'll take it!
Emotionally:
- I feel really good in this area as well! I had a lot of moments that I could have lost it last year, and I did a few times, but overall, I think that I held it together pretty well. Looking back, I realize the magnitude of what I went through and I can honestly say that I'm proud of myself.
- I'm blessed to have had full support from my husband, family, and friends. Each of you lifting me up in prayer, bringing us meals, taking care of our kids, calling to check on us, etc was invaluable. Thank you!
- I still have small moments here and there where I wish things were like they were before. You know, when I had all of my body parts. However, I remind myself that the positives far outweigh the negatives so I quickly turn those thoughts around.
Spiritually:
- God is good! All the time!
- As anyone would, I've had moments where my mind wonders to the place of "why did God let me have this gene and have to go through these surgeries" and I capture those thoughts and remind myself that we pray over our families health daily. I've specifically prayed for years for cancer to stop in my family, and for us to live healthy lives that will honor God. Just because the journey didn't look the way that I thought it would (meaning none of us would ever get cancer again and we would all be magically healthy) doesn't mean that God didn't answer our prayers and is still answering them. In fact, He did answer. In His way, and I'm eternally grateful for that. Which leads me to Giving Back.
Giving Back:
- Since walking this cancer journey, a lot has changed. I was blessed to be introduced to two friends before my surgeries who had walked a similar journey and they were there to pass on their wisdom and to mentor me through the hard times. Since last July, I've been able to share my story with seven other women through various stages of double mastectomy prevention and/or cancer surgeries. I wouldn't trade these friendships for anything!
- I'm volunteering with two non-profit organizations in the Tulsa area: Joy in the Cause and Random Acts of Purpose. The women who lead these groups have become friends and our lives will forever be connected. They see the good in others and they're working hard to bring Joy and Thankfulness to the patients and doctors/nurses who deal with cancer and other illnesses on a daily basis.
- I'm one of the leaders to a new Cancer Support Group at my church. We gather together on the third Thursday of the month to show support to anyone fighting cancer and/or the caregivers. We're also in the process of adopting a chemo treatment room to visit once a week to get to know the patients and to show them that they are loved.
- I wouldn't trade these friendships/groups for anything, and I never would have met most of these amazing people had I not heard "you're BRCA2 positive." So, I'll proudly wear that label and the journey that goes along with it if it means that I get to take a small part in changing this world for the better. Genesis 50:20 says, "You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result."
Speaking of our Cancer Support Group: We are meeting this Thursday (July 9th) in Broken Arrow, OK, at 6:30pm at Heritage UMC and anyone fighting cancer or a caregiver to someone fighting is welcome to come be loved on. Please help up spread the word. You can learn more on our Facebook page: BA Cancer Support Group.
