BRCA: Keeping A Tiny Piece of Me

Yesterday's appointment led us back to the Breast Specialist. We came full circle. My journey started with her in early Feb and since then I've had an MRI, met with a Plastic Surgeon, and met with my OB and scheduled the full hysterectomy (which will be next month).

While sitting in the waiting room, I picked up a devotional Bible that was on the table. Have I mentioned that my doctor is a Christian and that her office is covered in scripture and uplifting messages? I always feel at ease in there, even if I do have to flash my boobies every time I go in. Anyway, the lesson that I opened to was about Wisdom ...

• "Wisdom comes when we examine the experiences God gives us and discern what we have learned from them. Nothing that has happened to us should be wasted. Because it is sometimes painful, often we do not take the time or effort to discover the reason for the "gift" of our personal experiences. When we do not learn as we should, we stop growing ... Perhaps we should try writing out what we have learned about God, ourselves and life, during and then after an important experience. This increases our individual capacity to learn greater lessons and gain deeper wisdom."

What a great lesson! I know without a doubt that God has a plan for my life, so I will embrace this experience and I will learn as much as I can along the way. I will gain wisdom. I will document what I learn in this blog, and I will share it with others so that someone else will know that they are not alone. We all have a unique journey. We all have a story to tell.

So, back to my boobies (come on, when else is it appropriate to say that?!) ... I made another important decision yesterday. I chose to schedule the double mastectomy and breast reconstruction to significantly reduce my chances of developing breast cancer (I'm at 87% right now). Whew! I said it. I made THE decision. I'll be honest, that was a hard one. I know it needs to be done to secure a more healthy future for myself, but actually admitting it was huge. I'm not sure why this was such a big hurdle, but from day one it was hard for me to speak out loud that this needed to be done. Now that I've jumped that hurdle, it doesn't seem so bad. I only have about 999,999 more hurdles to jump. 

TMI Zone: I've spared you from the following discussion, but the time has come so please stop reading if you don't want to hear about my nipples. Yes, I said nipples. After meeting with the Plastic Surgeon two and a half weeks ago, I was told that I could not keep my nipples. I assumed that I couldn't because of the risk of developing breast cancer in the nipple tissue so I was ok with this news. I was then given two options for "fake" nipples; either tattoos or something I'll call the "twisted nipple" for lack of a better word for this horrendous sounding procedure. So, since that day, I've been trying to decide on tattoos or just going with "Barbie" boobs. I was pretty much settled on 3D tattoos (yes, there is such a thing) because I wanted to look "normal" for my girls. However, yesterday, the Breast Specialist said that I can keep my nipples if I choose to because the risk of cancer is very low. What?! Seriously?! I felt a sudden rush of relief that I didn't even know needed to come out. Finally, I was getting the option to keep something when so much is being taken away! I get to keep my nipples! I'm not going to lie, it will be nice to look down when all is said and done and see something familiar. Something that's still mine. WOOHOO!

So, here's where we stand:

• I get to keep my nipples!!! Oh, wait, we just discussed that.
• My follow-up cancer screening will be MRI's, not mammograms. The MRI's are mainly to check the implants, but double as a cancer screening so essentially a two for one. 
• Honestly, I was a little concerned with the mammogram popping an implant. Oh the things I've thought about these past few months. I could entertain you!
• I will have to start taking Estrogen pills right after the hysterectomy. I asked if I was feeling fine if I could stop taking them, and she said that I'm advised to take them until age 50 because I'm having the hysterectomy so young and bone loss will be a big factor when I'm no longer producing my own hormones. Geez! One thing leads to another. 
• I found out that my breast expanders will have ports, which will be the access point to fill them every 2-3 weeks (after the 4-6 week healing time). Although, two ports and multiple drains doesn't sound fun, it's a small price to pay for my health. 
• I'm now waiting for the doctors office to call and schedule the surgery. The Breast Specialist and Plastic Surgeon will work on me at the same time so they'll have to coordinate a day that works for both of them. 
• Let's do this!

2 Chronicles 20:15, 17 - "do not fear or be dismayed at this great multitude; for the battle is not yours but God's ... This battle is not for you to fight; take your position, stand still and see the victory of the Lord..."