BRCA: Embracing the Journey

Next week I have three doctors appointments. My 8 week check up for my hysterectomy, pre-op with the Breast Specialist, and pre-op with the Plastic Surgeon. I hope to get released by my OB to resume normal activity so that I can enjoy some workouts before my next surgery in a few weeks. I also hope to get the Great Nipple Debate settled once and for all. At first I was told that I couldn't keep my nipples because of the risk of cancer developing there later in life, then I was told by another doctor that I could keep them, so I settled on keeping them. Now, the first doctor is saying no again so I'm praying that we have a definitive answer by this time next week. Seriously, what 34 year old has daily thoughts about whether to keep her nipples or not?! Speaking of odd thoughts, I realized yesterday that I only have my boobies for 24 more days. Now there's a statement that you don't hear often!

Another strange statement for me to hear is how brave I am. I've seen many family members and close friends deal with cancer and I feel lucky blessed to have found out my fate ahead of time so that I can do something about it. Meaning, I don't have cancer. I don't have to fight this terrible disease and then have these surgeries. In all honesty, I feel like I get to take the easy way out because I get to beat cancer before it even gets to me. Does that make me brave? Maybe. I just feel like I'm making the best decision for me and my family when faced with my odds.

I'm currently reading The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer (there's also The Resolution for Men which I can only assume is just as good as this one). I highly recommend this book to any woman in any part of life. The purpose of this book is to help you realign your daily decisions in a way that glorify God and fulfill who He created you to be. Last week, I read a part that really hit home. I highlighted it and I've read it again several times since then. I would like to share this section with you because it helps me to define what I'm going through with the BRCA gene. It's also a great section to help YOU in just about anything you may be facing.

     "For even though you can't be humanly responsible for everything you see, and even though God would never place the burden of the whole world on your shoulders, He is placing THIS circumstance there. And in prayer He may be saying to you that one small part of its solution is staring you in the face when you step up to the bathroom mirror in the morning.

     Listen, I totally understand why you - why I - would rather look away. I understand our tendency to feel like someone else will surely take care of this. It's always easier and more comfortable to pull back and disengage, to find something more pleasant to dwell on. Much like the biblical prophet Habakkuk, you and I can feel like turning to the heavens when we see things happening we don't want to see or know about, and ask, 'Why do you force me to look?' (v1:3). 

     Seems like a God who loves us so fiercely wouldn't mind giving us a break from all this. Seems like with all we're required to shoulder in our own lives, with our own schedule and all our demanding circumstances, He'd give us a pass to look away, to ignore, to disregard. Right?

     Then His answer to Habakkuk's question may surprise you. For after forcing the prophet to sit back and watch the suffering of his own beloved people, here's what God said to him.

     'Look! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days - you would not believe if you were told (v5).'

     In other words, seeing is believing. If God didn't show you, your heart would not be moved. If He simply TOLD you what His plans were or how He was going to use you to solve them, you wouldn't be able to grasp the full depth and height of the problem or what the touch of His supernatural care, kindness, and wisdom could accomplish through you. If He allowed you to turn your face away and remain unaware of the situation, you'd never know the outworking of compassion the Spirit of God is inviting and empowering you to experience. 

     So He's decided to show you - to let you SEE the chaos, the devastation, the damage, the ruin, the waste, the loss - preparing you to envision how stunning His work can be, even through the likes of ordinary people like you and me. 

     So don't stop looking. Don't turn your eyes away. What you're seeing, He has orchestrated for you to see. In His sovereign plan for your life, He is calling you, wooing you, compelling you to get involved.

     Look. Again. Until what takes your breath away is not the gravity of the problem but the power of God to heal it - one touch, one person at a time."

Amen!