I found this quote months ago and it still makes me laugh! If I can't laugh through this process ... honestly, I would just cry. This has been a tough journey. I'm incredibly grateful to be on the upward slope because the valley wasn't a pleasant place to be. I've said multiple times that "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy," and it's the truth. In no way am I trying to toot my own horn, but it takes a very strong person to go through a double mastectomy with reconstruction. Had I known how hard this was going to be, I may have changed my mind. So, THANK YOU for your constant prayers and support, the phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, meals, kid sitting, drives around town, Rocket Brothers tea drop offs (yummy), cards, restaurant gift cards, visits, and love. It has taken a village to get through this, and I know that I will be supported until the end. Again, THANK YOU!
That's the cute outfit I get to wear on most of my doctor visits. Oh, good times! I saw the Plastic Surgeon yesterday (almost 5 weeks post surgery) and I was finally released to drive (with only a lap belt) and return to light activity. He was concerned with the range of motion in my shoulders because I had to keep my arms still for so long, so I'll be working on that with daily stretches. I also have to massage my scars multiple times a day to keep the scar tissue from building up. The doctor advised me to use a lotion that is all natural and won't clog my pores. Thanks to Arbonne, I have the perfect Shea Butter lotion to use! The lotion will also keep my skin moisturized as it stretches.
What's that you ask? That's an expander just like the two in my body. I believe in my last blog, I referred to them as basketballs and now you can see why. They're huge! That's my friends hand (in comparison) and she's pointing to the access port. I got my first fill yesterday. Just when I was starting to get used to the way things were feeling and getting somewhat a very little bit comfortable, everything changed. I couldn't watch the fill process because I'm a little tired of medical procedures at this point so I just didn't look. My friend told me that the doctor used a tiny magnet to find the port access and then he drew a circle around the magnet on both breasts. He then inserted a needle into the port and filled the expanders with saline. I didn't feel the needle on the right side because of the numb skin, but I did feel it on the left side. I never know where I'm going to have feeling these days, but most everything on my chest is numb. So, as unpleasant as it was to feel the needle, it was also encouraging because I actually had feeling in that area. It's the little things my friends!
What's it like to watch your boobs grow before your very eyes? Well, I didn't watch so you'll have to ask my friend. She did say it was pretty cool so maybe I'll watch next time. Because this process is so foreign to me, I still haven't quite grasped the idea of having fake boobs so I'm working on that. I'm not really sure that any of this will sink in until it's all over. The actual fill didn't hurt, but I could feel the pec muscles tightening up again. I did experience pain in a few places by bedtime and most of today so I'm praying it passes quickly so that I can get back to my arm stretches.
Having talked with another friend who went through this, I was expecting around 5 fills (two weeks apart), but the doctor said yesterday that I'll only need 2-3 fills total. Yay! That means that my final surgery could be in October instead of November. That was the best news I heard all day!
I also realized yesterday just how much trust I'm having to put into my doctor. I thought my boobs would look more "boob like" during this process so that we could pick a normal looking size as we went along, but I'm fully having to rely on his expertise because the expanders fill all around the circle shape to make room for the implant, which means that they don't fill up in a normal boob shape, they're high and round but still more full at the bottom. It's weird looking so it's hard for my mind to wrap around what the final product will look like so I'm glad I'm working with an expert. I have to fully trust that he knows what the final product will look like, and that I'll be happy with that outcome. So, now I just let gravity do it's work over the next two weeks until I go back for another fill.
This was my lounge area for the past 5 weeks. I borrowed it from a friend who has gone through the same surgeries and it was a huge blessing. I had no idea how much time I would spend on that pillow until I got home from the hospital. I returned it yesterday for two reasons: 1)it's time to graduate into the next phase of healing, and 2) the girls are back home (Praise the Lord) and they just want to slide on it. Gotta love it!
I want to add an extra special thanks to my parents for watching the girls the past 5 weeks. One of the hardest parts of my healing was not having them at home. The rest time that I got was invaluable as was the time the girls got to spend with my parents. I can never thank them enough for being so amazing! THANK YOU! We love you MORE!
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